First Day of School

My Middle Schooler...Doesn't she look so grown up!

Roo had her first day of middle school yesterday. Well, actually the first day was Wednesday, but it was only a half-day and orientation for the new students so it doesn't really count (all of this according to the wiser-than-ever Roo).

She loves her locker partner and thinks her TREK teacher is very cool because there are huge flat screen monitors on the desks. She only got lost once and other than that had a terrific day. Phew!

Kanga-mom is hanging in there. Each day I'm relaxing a little more and enjoying the quiet time with Winnie and Tigger. The three of us have been really enjoying each other's company. Winnie, especially, is benefiting from the extra attention. Being the middle child can be tough at times, and with her amicable disposition, her loud and rambuctious sisters often over shadow her.

Winnie and Tigger had a tough time with Roo getting on the bus on Orientation Day. I didn't anticipate any trouble from them and was focused so much on Roo that I completely missed the warning signs, but looking back here is how it played out:

The night before, Winnie was very whiney, weepy, and kept getting up throughout the night with bad dreams. The next morning she had a major meltdown over getting dressed and kept asking when she was going to preschool, and why Roo was riding a bus, and where was Roo going, and when would Roo be back, and "Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!" Tigger was ok until Roo got on the bus. Then the mouth opened and the shreaks came out as she realized she wasn't getting on the bus as well. Oh man, did she steal the show! On the walk home we sang the song, "The Wheels on the Bus go 'round and 'round, " and that helped her to choke back her sobs. Poor thing!

A blessed friend of mine emailed me that morning offering to host the two little ones at a Mom's Morning Out group for me. That was a life savior! Thank you Delayne! I was able to distract the little ones with the idea that they were going to get to go to "Preschool" that morning and that saved the day!

Here are some pics of that morning:



And here's Roo walking excitedly to the bus stop for the very first time!

The past two days have gone really well. No major catastrophes. I didn't even cry! Everything that needed to happen, happened effortlessly. God has answered all of my prayers for this transition and all the glory goes to him. He is faithful and knows just what we need when we need it. All we have to do is listen and obey.

I expect there will be bumps in the road as the year progress. That's how life works. However, through it all I will remember the Lord my God and seek his wisdom first. I will remember that He knows this road we are on. He created it and knew we would take it before we did. Nothing is a surprise to him so I will trust in Him. I will cover my children in prayer every day and I will continue to teach them His ways so that they may choose to trust in Him also.

Have a blessed day!

With anticipation and obedience to the Lord

This weekend Christopher Robin and I decided it was time make a change in Roo's life. After much prayer and deliberation we decided that it would be best for our entire family if Roo went back to public school. This was and continues to be a very big decision for me. Christopher Robin felt all along that Roo should have stayed in public school, so for him this was not a difficult decision to make. However, he understands painfully well how difficult this was for me.

As Pastor Rogers says, "God is good. All the time." This decision is no different. God is still good. Even as my heart breaks.

I'm staring at the heap of amazing books we were going to study this year as part of our 6th grade Christian Curriculum through My Father's World called Creation to Greeks. I was positively giddy with excitement when I received the box in the mail a couple of months ago. I quickly opened the box and smelled that wonderful smell of fresh, new books...ahhhh. Then carefully took each one out and smoothed my hands over the unbroken hard bound covers. Finally, I came to the Teachers Manual. In that book were all the secrets and promises for an exciting year of learning. I couldn't wait to dive in! Expectantly, I turned to Roo, hoping to see the same excitement on her face. I was disappointed when, instead, I saw her look of resignation and the reticent shrug of her shoulders. She didn't care.

Oh, the burden that came over me at that time. I immediately felt my shoulders slump. I'd carried this weight all last year and recognized the familiar feeling as it settled in between my shoulder blades and in the pit of my stomach. I wanted so badly for Roo to love homeschooling as much as I loved homeschooling her. I wanted her to love learning and reading and investigating all of the interesting subjects we were exposed to. However, no amount of me wanting it was going to make it happen. I'd spent an entire school year pulling, prodding, carrying, coercing, cheering, yelling, threatening, bribing, praying, and crying. All in an attempt to get Roo on board.

Praise God, there were plenty of great moments. I'm incredibly thankful that she and I got to spend this year together. Our relationship grew. I learned so much about my eldest daughter that I would not have learned otherwise. My love for her grew, as did her respect for me. Her relationship and love for her sisters grew. She, again, became an integral part of this family. A piece without which we could not function properly. As she experienced difficult times last year maturing, and growing, quesioning her faith and the Lord. I was right there any time of day or night, available for her on her time, not mine. I feel like I got my girl back this year, and just in the knick of time.

All of that came at a cost to me, my husband, and our family. My health has been the worst it's ever been this past year. I went against my husband when I decided to homeschool Roo and for that I have asked and received his forgiveness. I began to feel resentful toward my children and my husband because of all that was demanded of me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. There was no peace for me the entire year. I was working, homeschooling, raising three children, trying to maintain a clean home, enjoy a good relationship with my husband, and God. I felt as though I was letting everyone down including myself, because I couldn't accomplish all that I wanted to accomplish the way I wanted to accomplish it. I prayed and prayed and it was only with God's strength, kindness, love, compassion and patience that I got through the year at all.

So, when I saw that look of resignation in my daughter's eyes I began to wonder about this year. What were my motives? Had homeschooling Roo became more about me than about her? Was the investment that I had made in homeschooling more important than my investment in my child? I had previously thought that investing in homeschooling WAS investing in my child, but now I wasn't so sure. After a lot of prayer and thought I came to the conclusion that I first needed to take it to my husband and ask him what he thought. He thought that I needed to do whatever would make me the least stressed out. God bless' m! He still felt that Roo would do great in public school. We did the whole pro's and con's thing and finally what it boiled down to was that I want to honor my husband and do what's best for our whole family. Not what's best for one child at the expense of the rest of our family.

We discussed it with Roo and lo and behold, she was thrilled with the prospect of going back to school. She's nervous, but excited. Do you know what she said to me? She said, "Mom don't worry! When you worry it makes me worry about you." Wow. That stopped me dead. The last thing I want is for my daughter to worry about me.

So, off to school we go along with the masses. I still plan to home school Tigger and Whinny with some preschool activities. I can't wait! I also can't wait to be the most involved mommy at Roo's middle school. I plan to show my face there so much that Roo won't even realize that we aren't homeschooling! Maybe not quite that much, but I do hope to be very involved.

I'll share more later because I know this has gotten incredibly long. In the meantime, please pray for us. Pray for Roo's safety, her walk with the Lord, that she is a blessing to others, and that she leads others to Jesus.

Lord, I thank you for this past year of homeschooling. For your love, and for all the good that you did in our family and in Roo. Thank you Jesus for showing me where I needed to ask my husband for forgiveness, and thank you that he did forgive me. Thank you for the amazing homeschooling families who have come along beside us to bless us and be a light in our dark moments. Lord, in all things we will point to you. As we head into this new season, we rest in you, gather strength from you and trust in you. We will walk in your ways and be salt and light unto the world. I pray for your covering and blessing over Roo as she enters into the world, and that she will remember that the one who is in her is greater than the one who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Amen